Here We Go Again

Wheee...here we fuckin' go again. Thought things would start anew in Penang, but I've continued where I left off in Kuching. Same old, same old. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Different environment, different people, same old problem.

The more I see, the more I want..and the more I'm reminded of the fact that I can't get what I want. At least not now, if not never. Signs aren't looking good. Oh, what the fuck am I talking about? I think I should be saying no, no go (I think. Shit, I don't know). But hope has got me saying hey, ho, let's go. That's what's killing me. The uncertainty of it all. I guess that's what I was touching about in the previous post. Hope sometimes leads us astray. It makes us say go when we should be saying no. False hope.

We don't always get what we want. Life's like that, for good or for worse. Right now, it seems the latter for me. Or maybe I'm not being far-sighted enough. I'm like that sometimes (ok, maybe most of the time), live for the moment, questions come later.

Seems like the best piece of advice I can give myself right now is to hope for the best, but expect nothing. I've said that before, and I'll say it again. It's a saying that can be best applied to almost every situation in life.

Hope for the best, but expect the worst/nothing.

As mentioned before, it's from the lyrics of the song 'Forever Young'. Gem of a song.

The mind is giving sound advice. Problem is, the heart and the mind don't always see eye to eye. The mind is like the parent and the heart is the rebellious wild child. The mind exercises logic but the heart just seems to say 'Screw this shit, I'm doing what I feel like doing'. It's a battle of the heart versus mind. Impulse versus logic. And when the mind wins, it's when you've learnt how to control your emotions.