Thursday, June 26, 2008

Penang

Got into Universiti Sains Malaysia, Penang. Will be on the main campus on Penang Island. Doing Management there for 3 years. I get to choose which field I'd like to major in on the 2nd year. Marketing and Finance are among the options.

Hate that they give you such short notice before you're required to register. Reply came out on the 18th, have to be there by the 28th. It's been rush rush rush these past few days.

Penang. Nice place, no complaints. KL would have been good as I know people there. But still, Penang has it's own attractions and it's a place I don't mind going at all.

Meh

The world is round. We have 24 hours in a day. Petrol prices are going up. George W. Bush is a cunt. St. Jo won the state level marching band competition. What's new?

Well done St. Jo. No, really, well done to you guys. I'm so chuffed to bits, I'm going out on a limb here to post a video of me applauding you guys. Anything for you guys.



Oh! By the way, it probably won't matter, but I like to call that my Clap de la Sarcastic.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm Josephian to the core and I'm proud of it but one thing I'm not proud of is the school band. And I'm not the only one who feels that way.

Not all of them are like that, I know some band members, I have friends in band and they're really nice people. But the majority of the band members have ego problems. Superiority complex. Elitist issues. And in school, they take priority over everything. And I mean everything. It's so unfair that if the UN Human Rights Council did a investigation, our school band will be on trial right now. You get the point. They're untouchable.

Maybe it's not even the majority of the band. Maybe it's just a minority. But you know what they say, a few rotten apples spoil the basket. Or something to that effect.

What I do know is that the root of the problem lies with those in charge of the band. The school authorities. The people calling the shots in band. Again, not all of them I'd say, but a few is more than enough. They were the ones who made the band untouchable and with that comes the elitist and superiority complex.

I have a love-hate relationship with the band..mostly hate though. On one hand, they're making the school proud but on the other hand, they're real arses, for lack of a better word. I don't know whether to cheer or jeer, which makes me look like a hypocrite at times.

Anyway, about the competition. No matter how much I hate the band, if they deserve to win, then I can't say anything. They didn't deserve it though, Chung Hwa Miri deserved to. Which makes the whole thing a huge pile of bollocks.

Bollocks.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

100th Post

For the 100th post of my blog, I'd like to dedicate it to my latest crushcrushcrush and object of affection, Hayley Williams of Paramore.






Green eyes and red hair, my favourite. Hey hey hey!

Monday, June 09, 2008

Azza Burger

Azza Burger

Since my cash frequently goes out to this stall, I think it most appropriate to be dedicating a post to the one and only Azza Burger.

Roadside burger stalls are a dime a dozen in Kuching and most of them taste the same, but there exists in Kuching a elitist clique of roadside burger stalls. The cr
è
me de la crème, the cherries on the top, the star on the top of the X'mas tree. Call it whatever you want, but these burger stalls stand out from the rest of the crop.

Arguably the best roadside burger stall in Kuching for me is Azza burger, located conveniently in front of a 24 hour convenience store, at a traffic light in front of Waterfront.

Best thing about it is that it opens til the wee hours of the morning. It has helped to satisfy my craving for roadside burgers which I get during the most unorthodox of hours. Azza has even motivated a group of us (which included girls) to scale the fences of our school compound and walk for 20 minutes (back and forth) to the burger stall at 2 AM in the morning. Though admittedly, I guess it was more of the sense of adventure that motivated us to do that.

Azza is somewhere up there in the ranks along with the likes of Sunny Hill Ice-Cream, Curry House Roti Canai and McDonald's Sausage Egg McMuffin. I'm probably gonna have a wet dream soon about making sweet love to some hot chicks, all the while stuffing Azza Chicken Egg Full Cheese into my mouth. Sweet.

In the words of Chester, I am giving Azza a huge ego-masturbation indeed.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have Burger Times. I officially boycott that burger stall which ironically is the only chain roadside burger stall to my knowledge (it's available at most coffee shops). I do not care that they have unashamedly ripped the name and logo of Burger King. What annoys me about them is that you have to wait a fuckin' long time for their burgers. Most burger stalls are 2 man stalls but Burger Times only has 1. Not only that, last time I checked, their prices were slightly pricier compared to their competitors. All this despite their burgers being just mediocre. They can say what they want about how their cook their eggs differently from other stalls but to me it's just a gimmick and in fact it doesn't taste as good when you cook your egg separately from the meat patty instead of wrapping it around the patty.

I have a feeling they're feeling real good about themselves because the Borneo Post ran an article about their burgers a while back, so they think they can get away with all that. Bollocks. In my opinion, the newspaper picked them not because their burgers were good but rather because they were the only burger stall to have a proper shop (Times Cafe) and their egg gimmick
(as to the less informed, most burger stalls would taste the same, so the newspapers were looking for a burger stall that had a gimmick).

Anyway, have I mentioned that Azza also sells tasty nasi lemak? I haven't tried it myself (not a nasi lemak person) but according to friends, they have some really mean nasi lemak.

All this from a company that started off selling reload cards (if my sources are reliable). Wicked.

Kuching Kong Hokkien Uoa Kong Huey

Peng Eu! Ho bo?!

As Supreme High Chancellor, Ph.D(Sociolinguistics - Hokkien)(Petaling Street University), M.A. in Teaching Hokkien as a Second Language (University of Padungan), B.A. (Language Studies - Hokkien)Hons(Civic Centre College), of the Kuching Kong Hokkien Uoa Kong Huey (Kuching Speak Hokkien Language Association), I feel that it is most appropriate to compose this post in Hokkien.

However, due to the necessity of reaching out to a wider audience with this propaganda broadcast (and due to the complexities of composing a post in Hokkien), this post shall instead be in English.

Greetings my fellow Hokkien Language lovers. It is imperative and of the utmost urgency that I relay this most grievous news to you all. The proud bastion of the Hokkien language, the fair city of Kuching, is under threat from the imperialist Mandarin language.

Less than 25 years ago, Hokkien was the lingua franca of the Chinese people in Kuching. From the upper class elitist to the common class rabble and further extending down to the peasant peons (yes, that means you, the reader!), Hokkien was the language of choice for them all. If it is to be believed, according to propaganda broadcasts from that era, even the other races in the city knew how to speak basic Hokkien.

How far we have fallen from those glorious heights. With the rapid rise of the sleeping dragon that is China and the Mandarin language that they advocate, Kuching too has not been spared from the negative effects of globalisation. The imperialist Mandarin language pig-dogs have taken full advantage of this and have planted a strong foothold in our city.

More and more Chinese youngsters are now speaking Mandarin (with the aid of the Chinese schools that they attend) and ignoring the original Chinese dialect of Kuching, Hokkien. It is of great shame for me to say that most Chinese youngsters nowadays do not speak a word of Hokkien. Oh! The shame! The dishonour! The majority of Hokkien speakers nowadays consist of the older generations. This does not forebode well for my dream of a city (and further down the road, an empire) that speaks nothing but the Hokkien language.

The Hokkien language in Kuching is an important cultural identity for our city. It serves to remind us of our roots, our forefathers and most importantly, our cultural supremacy that shall one day overrun the region and crush all those who oppose the Hokkien language! If the Hokkien language should fall in Kuching, so shall the city itself! We will be Kuching no longer. We might as well be called the city of Anjing, as it will make no difference. Lawlessness and chaos will then reign supreme in our city as "Ni hao ma?" and "Ta jia hao!" will run rampant across the city.

As such and for the survival of our cultural identity and supremacy, I urge us all, from the pathetic slaves to the snobbish nobility, to wake up from our complacent attitude towards the blasphemous Mandarin language insurgency and crush it once and for all! Viva La Hokkien!

For a start, here are 3 simple ways you can support the Kuching Kong Hokkien Uoa Kong Huey.

  1. Stare incredulously at any person that attempts to engage you in a Mandarin language conversation, as if they've just said the most ridiculous thing in the world about your mother. Reply back with a Hokkien swear word of your choice. A simple 'Mai Ji Bai' should do the trick. Follow it up by spitting on the ground. If he/she still attempts to converse in Mandarin, physical violence is then deemed necessary.
  2. Join the weekly Kuching Kong Hokkien Uoa Kong Huey demonstration at Hui Sing Garden every Friday night at 7 PM. Don't miss out! Oh, and do bring your most creative self-made banners (must be in Hokkien). Proudly sponsored and fully endorsed by the Wawaweewa Gang.
  3. Buy the official "Kong Hokkien Uoa!" line of merchandise that is available at your nearest Kuching Kong Hokkien Uoa Kong Huey branch office. We have a special on our popular Button Badges that will last til the end of this month. Buy 2 and get 1 free. Buy the original! Belilah yang ori! For further inquiries, please contact 1-800-HOKKIEN-UOA.



T-Shirt (Black/White) - RM 39.90
Cap (Black/White) - RM 29.90
Knowing how to speak Hokkien - Priceless

*Does not come with model. Model sold separately. Further details can be arranged by calling the number above*

I'm also taking the opportunity to say how disappointed I was with the turnout for our fund raising project which was carried out last month.

This traditional Chinese opera in our beloved Hokkien language was held at the stage (next to Medan Pelita) opposite the Chinese temple at the end of Carpenter Street as part of our fund raising activities. Proceeds from the fund raising goes directly into the 'Funds for the Betterment of our Beloved Supreme High Chancellor', with the next item on the list a Mitsubishi EVO X.

Check out my blow-your-mind-fo-shizzle-ma-nizzy jacked up ride yo. Complete with custom decals.

And the turnout was a measly 7 people! Count 'em! Unbe-friggin-lievable. How am I gonna get my new car?! Never the less, looking at the bright side, it could have been worst. It could have been a no turnout. So to those 7 people, my heartfelt thanks for supporting me, your Supreme High Chancellor. As for the rest of you people, I am your Supreme High Chancellor so worship me, motherfuckers!