Started out with Sean and I outside this house lounging on some beach chairs. The next morning, there's gonna be this tv gameshow so the participants of the show start coming to the house to spend the night there. One of the guys came up to us and asked us if we were participants too (we were not) and we pulled his leg by saying yes. In the end though, we apologised for pulling his leg.
The setting suddenly became the La Sallian convention, Sean disappeared and the guy became a blind man. Van appeared, she was about to participate in a basketball competition, one of the activities of the convention. I escorted her over to the court, and on my way back to my seat to watch the game, I was stopped by a police cadet at a gate to be asked some questions before being allowed to continue my way (this part is apparently from Sports Day, as the gate into the field of play is guarded by police cadets).
At courtside, I had a look at Van's new phone, a Nokia 8800 Gold edition (she just got a new phone in reality, but it's not a Nokia 8800), which was unusually larger than in real life. Justin Lo then came up, he said that the blind man was, in his own words, "My grandmother's mum's son", which would make the man his grand-uncle.
One of the basketballers who turned out to be Edward's younger brother (I don't think he has a younger brother in reality) picked a fight with the organisers, and a group of people including Edward and I had to intervene.
Our delegation consisted of Brendan, Laura, Van, Adin and me, and we were supposed to pass to the rest of the delegates of the convention a picture of our delegation. I asked Van and Brendan why the picture was only of them both, including an accidental Lovena at the side of the pic.
We then discovered that our delegation would all be sleeping in the same room (in the real convention, we were divided into different rooms). Van and I went to our room, she took a shower and I was playing around with the lights in the room when I realised I forgot my handphone charger. I also discovered that one of the light switches caused candles around the beds and around an altar in the room to be lit, and I left the lighting like that.
I then went outside the bathroom to shout to Van that I left my charger at home and inquired if anyone had a Nokia charger. She replied by asking me to go buy a charger for RM 60.
Now beyond the bathroom was the outside corridor, and I could see through the walls that the Undertaker was walking along the corridor. He stopped when hearing us shouting at each other. Now the walls of the bathroom was strangely made of bamboo, so he just tore two bamboos aside to look into the bathroom and uttered something which I can't remember. He left, but then something that looked like this
appeared behind me, rising up from the floor. It was floating, but it had a black full body cloak on instead, much like the Grim Reaper. It's mask was like the one in the pic, except it was all white with no designs, with the exception of two eyeslits. It was covered in red that looked suspiciously like blood. The atmosphere of the room, which was all dark except for some candles if you remember, only served to make it worst.
There was a gap between the walls of the bathroom and the floor, so I slid into the bathroom immediately through the gap (Van was in a white towel you pervs!). The thing then gave us instructions accompanied with visual imagery to do three things, similar to playing a treasure hunt, around the place where the convention was held. If not, we'd be dead or something by 3 days.
The Government of Australia will probably change hands this weekend. There will be no arrests, no tear gas and no water cannons. The Government of John Howard will leave office, the Opposition will form a government and everyone will accept the verdict.
For this, every Australian can feel justifiably proud. This playing by the rules is what has made Australia rich and a good place in which to invest. It is a country to which people want to migrate; not leave.
Now consider Malaysia. The weekend before last, up to 40,000 Malaysians took to the streets in Kuala Lumpur to protest peacefully against the judiciary's lack of independence, electoral fraud, corruption and a controlled media.
In response, they were threatened by the Prime Minister, called monkeys by his powerful son-in-law, and blasted with water cannons and tear gas. And yet the vast majority of Malaysians do not want a change of government. All they want is for their government to govern better.
Both Malaysia and Australia have a rule of law that's based on the English system. Both started out as colonies of Britain. So why is Malaysia getting it so wrong now?
Malaysia's Government hates feedback. Dissent is regarded as dangerous, rather than a product of diversity. And like the wicked witch so ugly that she can't stand mirrors, the Government of Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi controls the media so that it doesn't have to see its own reflection.
Demonstrations are typically banned. But what every Malaysian should know is that in Britain, Australia and other modern countries, when people wish to demonstrate, the police typically clear the way and make sure no one gets hurt. The streets belong to the people. And the police, like the politicians, are their servants. It is not the other way around.
But increasingly in Malaysia, Malaysians are being denied a voice — especially young people.
Section 15 of Malaysia's Universities and University Colleges Act states that no student shall be a member of or in any manner associate with any society, political party, trade union or any other organisation, body or group of people whatsoever, be it in or outside Malaysia, unless it is approved in advance and in writing by the vice-chancellor.
Nor can any student express or do anything that may be construed as expressing support, sympathy or opposition to any political party or union. Breaking this law can lead to a fine, a jail term or both.
The judiciary as a source of independent viewpoints has been squashed. The previous prime minister, Mahathir Mohamad, did many good things for Malaysia, but his firing of the Lord President (chief justice) and two other Supreme Court judges in 1988 was an unmitigated disaster. Since then, what passes for a judiciary in Malaysia has been an utter disgrace and the Government knows it.
Several years ago, Daim Zainuddin, the country's then powerful finance minister, told me that judges in Malaysia were idiots. Of course we want them to be biased, he told me, but not that biased.
Rarely do government ministers need to telephone a judge and demand this or that verdict because the judges are so in tune with the Government's desires that they automatically do the Government's beckoning.
Just how appalling Malaysia's judiciary has become was made clear in recent weeks with the circulation of a video clip showing a senior lawyer assuring someone by telephone that he will lobby the Government to have him made Lord President of the Supreme Court because he had been loyal to the Government. That someone is believed to have been Ahmad Fairuz Abdul Halim, who did in fact become Lord President.
A protest march organised by the Malaysian Bar Council was staged in response to this, and corruption among the judiciary in general. But the mainstream Malaysian media barely covered the march even though up to 2000 Bar Council members were taking part. Reportedly, the Prime Minister's office instructed editors to play down the event.
Instead of a free media, independent judges and open public debate, Malaysians are given stunts — the world's tallest building and most recently, a Malaysian cosmonaut. Essentially, they are given the play things of modernity but not modernity itself.
Many senior Malays are absolutely despairing at the direction of their country today. But with the media tightly controlled they have no way of getting their views out to their fellow countrymen. This means that most Malaysians falsely assume that the Malay elite is unified when it comes to the country's direction.
Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah, a former finance minister and today still a member of the Government, told me several weeks ago in Kuala Lumpur that he could see no reason why today Malaysia could not have a completely free media, a completely independent judiciary and that corrupt ministers and other officials should be publicly exposed and humiliated.
According to Tengku Razaleigh, all of the institutions designed to make Malaysia's Government accountable and honest have been dismantled or neutered.
It didn't need to be like this. Malaysia is not North Korea or Indonesia. It is something quite different. Its legal system is based on British codes. Coupled with traditional Malay culture, which is one of the world's most hospitable, decent and gentle cultures, Malaysia has the cultural and historical underpinnings to become one of Asia's most civilised, rules-based, successful societies.
Instead, Malaysia's Government is incrementally wasting Malaysia's inheritance. Taken from here
Know someone in the hospital? Do they seem low in spirit and depressed? Why not try some of these pranks to cheer them up?!
Go up to someone on life support and distract them. Talk about anything: business, sports, any such useless subject matter will do. Then while they're not paying attention, unplug their life support unit! Twirl the cord in your hand with a nonchalant look on your face. Say "Oh.. I'm sorry, do you need this? I'm not going to plug it back in until you smile." Then plug it back in and say "Just kidding, HAHAH" Unplug it again and repeat. They'll die of laughter.
If you're in a hospital emergency room and you see a family that's distressed over the condition of someone they brought with them, try this prank to cheer them up! First, find a white doctor's jacket and a clipboard if you can. Put the jacket on and make a serious expression on your face. Then go up to the family in the emergency room and say "I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but it doesn't look like he's going to make it.." Wait a few minutes to let it to sink in (grab a bite to eat, watch some TV). Then, if you remember, go up to the family and say "Just kidding! I'm not a doctor. HAHAH" Everyone will get a good laugh.
How about some mental ward mayhem?! Try this to cheer up your insane buddies: First, stop by a gag store and buy some fake blood. Then go to see your friend in the mental ward (bring a knife). While you're talking to your friend, cover the knife in blood and drop it on the ground. Put some blood on your hand and run out into the hallway screaming "AHHH.. he slashed me!" They'll increase his supervision and won't allow him to see visitors anymore. Nobody will believe him when he says he didn't do it because he's crazy, and you two can have a good laugh together if he gets out.
Fun with the dead: make a recording of some moans and thumping, or someone saying "HELP! I'm still alive!", then put the recorder in the morgue department. Leave it on play and walk away. The hospital staff will have fun for hours tracing where the sound is coming from, and they'll all get a good laugh when they finally find the recorder.
Is someone you know anorexic? A good joke would be to tell them that they're fat. They'll laugh because anorexic people aren't fat. HAHAH
How about some baby swapping? Always a good joke to play is swapping babies in then nursery room. When the parents find out 20 years down the line, they'll all laugh. Let me know if you try any of these pranks.
137,834 people have tried my methods to cheer people up.. and failed.
Thinking about suicide but you're not sure if it's the right thing to do? Here are some tips to help you decide whether or not killing yourself is a good choice:
1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.
2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.
3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.
4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.
5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.
6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.
7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.
8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.
9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?
10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.
Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
4,102,635 morons have killed themselves after reading this page.
Dice stacking, it looks really cool. Basically, it's the art of using a cup to scoop up a several dices one after another at high speed and stacking them together vertically after that. Check out Youtube for more vids.
The shitty thing is, I didn't manage to catch the match live! AAARGH!! Set the alarm at 3:30AM. It rings and I promptly shut it off and went back to sleep. Happened a couple of times before. The next time, I'm not going to sleep at all!
Woke up at 5:30AM, exactly as the match ends. It's like there was a conspiracy or something. Text message from Sean tells me the scoreline. Mixed feelings ensue, delightment at the scoreline, frustration at oversleeping. GAH!
— Any player being filmed leaving a team bus must ensure that he is wearing headphones and carrying a small Louis Vuitton wash bag.
— Players who once represented the same club must stop and chat animatedly to each other in the tunnel as they wait to come out, even if they never really spoke to each other when they played together.
— On the day of a cup final, players must walk on to the pitch in their club suit approximately 1½ hours before kick-off and touch the turf to make sure it is just like all the other grass they play on every week. At least one player must pick some and throw it in the air to gauge the wind direction even though it is May, very still, and, therefore, very unlikely to affect anything.
Scoring
— If a player mishits a good chance, he must look down and carefully examine the pitch, maybe even treading back in some turf, so that everyone knows he got a bad bounce. If it is a televised game, he should continually blow mucus out of his nose as the camera tracks him back to his own half.
— When a player makes a great assist only to see a teammate tap the ball in, he must stand well away from the celebrating players and wait for them to come over and individually congratulate him.
Corners and throw-ins
— All throw-ins must be taken at least ten yards farther up the pitch than where the ball went out. The referee is allowed to tell the player off, but only when he has exceeded ten yards.
— All corner takers must push the corner flag to one side, regardless of whether it gets in the way. They must also raise a hand before taking the kick, irrelevant of where they intend to send the ball.
Free kicks
— Two or more players should always dispute who will take a free kick, even though they have spent an entire week on the training ground working out who will take them.
— When a player has conceded a free kick, he must pick up the ball and run several yards before dropping it behind him without looking. When a free kick is awarded and the referee places the ball in the required spot, it is essential to pick it up and place it down again at least six inches further forward, ideally with a backspin motion.
Offside
— When a player is judged offside and still shoots but doesn’t score, he must pretend he knew it was offside all along and didn’t really try to score at all. On the other hand, if he does score, he must act “outraged” and “robbed”.
— Any striker who is more than five yards offside must still either wag a finger or launch a tirade of expletives at the flag-bearing official.
Substitutions and injuries
— A player leaving the pitch on a stretcher must always be applauded, while players with equally serious injuries who are helped off by the physio must be booed.
— When water bottles are thrown on to the pitch while a teammate is receiving treatment, players must always squirt some out on to the grass before taking a sip.
— Players warming up along the touchline must always put their hands behind their backs and kick their heels up to touch them, even though they never do this in training or at any other time.
Goalkeepers
— Before kick-off, goalkeepers should always hang from the crossbar to check it does not have any cracks in it.
— Keepers must use the special adhesive power of saliva by spitting into their gloves as much as possible during games. They should also kick the soles of their boots against the post at least three times in each half.
— Goalkeepers should sprint into the opposition penalty box for injury-time corners, even if they have never connected with a header in their life.
Managers
— Any manager facing lower-league opposition in a cup game must describe the team he is facing as “well organised”.
— Assistant managers must be equipped with a blank piece of paper on which they can pretend to show substitutes the opposition’s tactical formation. In addition, assistants should shout and gesticulate in exactly the same way as the manager, only two seconds later.
Officials
— The referee must only blow for full time when the ball is in mid-air after a long goal kick.
— The fourth official must always check a substitute’s studs before he comes on, even though none of the studs of the players on the pitch were checked. It should be noted that no substitute in the history of football has ever been caught wearing “inappropriate studs” and no substitute has ever been refused access to the field of play because of a “stud check”.
— Fourth officials should always be of a smiling disposition when trying to calm infuriated managers back into the dugout.
-I am anti-life, the beast of judgement. I am the dark at the end of everything. The end of universes, gods, worlds... of everything. And what will you be then, Dreamlord?
-I am hope.
(Choronzon and The Sandman)
