Jokes

A man is walking along a beach, sad and depressed, when he hears a booming voice from the heavens.

"DIG!" says the voice.

The man looks around, a little confused.

"DIG!" Booms the voice again.

The man thinks what the hell and starts digging at the sand in front of him. Suddenly he hits a wooden box. He picks it up and the voice shouts

"OPEN!"

He opens it to see hundreds of gold coins. He's a little taken aback when the voice shouts again

"CASINO!"

What the hell, thinks the guy, so off he walks. He enters the casino door when he hears the voice shout

"ROULETTE!"

He walks over to the roulette table and awaits more instructions.

"16 BLACK!" the voice says

So the man puts the whole chest on 16 black, the wheel is spun and it lands on 5 red.

"FUCK!" shouts the voice...

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What happens when an insect falls into a cup of coffee...

The British: will throw the cup into the street and leave the coffee shop for good.

The American: will get the insect out and drink the coffee.

The Chinese: will eat the insect and drink the coffee.

The Israeli will:

(1) Sell the coffee to the American and the insect to the Chinese.

(2) Cry on all media channels that he feels insecure.

(3) Accuse the Palestinians, Hezbollah, Syria and Iran of using germ-weapons.

(4) Keep on crying about anti-semitism and violations of human rights.

(5) Ask the Palestinian President to stop planting insects in the cups of coffee.

(6) Re-occupy the West Bank, Gaza Strip.

(7) Demolish houses, confiscate lands, cut water and electrity from Palestinian houses and randomly shoot Palestinians.

(8) Ask the United States for urgent military support and a loan of one million dollars in order to buy a new cup of coffee.

(9) Ask the United Nations to punish the coffee-shop owner by making him offer free coffee to him till the end of the century.

(10) Last but not least, accuse the whole world to be standing still, not even sympathizing with the Israeli Nation.